I have just spent a great afternoon! I cannot believe how much fun I have had. All because Redhead’s TV blew up. Yes, I know that sounds terrible, I really do. But it meant that I could spend an hour or 3 breaking the boredom.
And I started to think of Grandma Mazour. Janet Evanovich’s marvellous older lady who continues to amuse me and amaze me after so many years.
"Grandma has a .45 long barrel that she keeps hidden from my mother. She got it from her friend Elsie, who picked it up at a yard sale. Probably it was in Grandma's purse. Grandma says it gives the bag some heft, in case she has to beat off a mugger. This might be true, but I think mostly Grandma likes pretending she is Clint Eastwood."
Well, I know that Grandma Mazour isn't Redhead, but this Wuflu stuff is bringing out the Grandma Mazour spirit in my Mum. Her TV gave up the ghost today and she would have shot it had it not already died. In the middle of a virtual lockdown, how dare a TV die? Not that there is much to watch, but that is not the point. But Mum would have bloody shot it if she had a .45 for being such an inconsiderate piece of crap.
It had NO RIGHT to switch off when we are stuck at home - if Trump was our President he would not have allowed it. Well, OK, she didn't say that, I did. But you get my drift.
I have been raiding the fridge and I fear for my well being. Boredom is a bitch. So this TV blowing up was a Godsend. I had 3 hours of Fridge Isolation.
So today, when I rang to organise a new TV for Redhead. Delivery, installation and pickup of the old one? $283.00 – yep, you read that right. $283 – up from $90 3 months ago.
Needless to say, Shaydee wasn’t having a bar of it. I rang around and found someone who would do the same service for $155.00 – and they are travelling 30 km to do it! Well done them.
And they will do it, gladly, to keep their guys in work. A big shoutout to Sunland TV for your amazing service.
As I said earlier, Redhead and I went to the supermarket this morning to see if we could luck on to any toilet paper – sadly, it is like a Kiwi – elusive and hiding. No doubt in some warehouse ready to be shipped off to Pooh Corner.
Poor Redhead had a problem with the new one way streets in our local store that used to be dual lanes. She defended it by saying she was too busy searching for toilet paper to be looking at an arrow on the floor – not to mention the fact that it seemed an act of defiance to go the wrong way “ because she could. “ After all, who was going to arrest her?
“ It’s OK “ she said “ they can arrest me but I’ll be out on bail tomorrow. “
Yes, spitting on a cop is alright but we are both thankful that an 87 year old didn’t get dobbed in for going up a supermarket aisle in the wrong direction and sent to clink. No one likes a dobber New Zealand.
While Mum is not an elderly, sexually promiscuous old biddy from a Janet Evanovich novel – in fact quite the opposite – she shares Grandma Mazour’s sense of defiance and self expression. Just because someone is of more mature years does not mean that they are without dignity, defiance and spirit. Old fashioned, hard earned, what we call down under “ Piss and attitude.”
As we were leaving the supermarket, we saw a man who has 2 dogs. He is renowned in our community for being a callous bully to those poor creatures. Many of us have had words.
Redhead yelled ( thankfully, the windows of the car were up ) “ you cruel bastard! “ and I shuddered. I said “ what if he heard you? “
Redhead replied. “ I don’t care. He is cruel. “ and I said “ But you are in my car. Next time he sees me, he’ll thump me”
Redhead said “ But it was fun, wasn’t it? Just to let off steam? “
And yes, it was. It was good to let off steam. And we laughed and talked about making a voodoo doll and sticking pins in his groin.
Social isolation does that to you.
Grandma Mazour would be proud.
Well, I had a good day in social distancing. Mum is about to get a new TV and we got cat food… we feel lucky … next time toilet paper? You never know.
Something to look forward to.
Meanwhile, part of me wonders whether it would be rather good to have a .45 because Redhead would sort the bastards out.
