A Word from Roderick “Whiskers” McNibble
Senior Culture Correspondent, Ratty News
“Something is rotten in the state of Washingburrow…”
— Hamlet (if he'd worn whiskers and sniffed conspiracy)
Welcome, noble burrowers and readers of refined cheeseprint, to the most scandalous stage production since The Weasel of Venice was banned from the Hollow Log Theatre for being “too accurate.”
Tonight, beneath the flickering torchlight of the Rodent Playhouse, Dusty Gulch ( just behind McFookits Burger Joint ) we present a tale not simply of politics or power, but of ghosts, betrayal, and one rat’s madcap descent into calculated lunacy.
Read more: Something is Rotten in the State of Washingburrow - To Squeak, or Not to Squeak
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- Written by: George Christensen
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It’s every parent’s worst nightmare, and now it’s a crisis.
Joshua Brown, a 26-year-old childcare worker accused of unspeakable acts against infants and toddlers across 20 childcare centres in the Australian State of Victoria, has become the face of a system in moral and structural collapse.
But Brown isn’t a lone wolf. He’s not some freak outlier.
He’s part of a pattern. And unless we confront it head-on, this nightmare won’t end… it will multiply.
Read more: We Handed Them Over: The Great Betrayal of Our Children
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- Written by: Op-Ed Monty
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Why Is Everyone So Angry These Days?
Have you felt it lately?
That low hum of tension everywhere: in the supermarket car park, at the post office, in the way people snap online over the smallest things. We’re a society with clenched jaws and balled fists, and half the time, we don’t even know who we’re angry at. It’s like everyone’s waiting for someone to bump their trolley so they can finally let it all out.
But here’s the thing: I don’t think we’re mad at the person in front of us. We’re mad at the people who let us down. The ones who told us to trust them, then disappeared. The ones who promised safety, then forgot us.
Governments. Systems. Institutions. Even families.
That kind of betrayal doesn’t always look like rage ... at first. Sometimes it looks like numbness. Sometimes it looks like silence. And then, all at once, it explodes.
Read more: The Lockdowns Ended. The Anger Didn’t. After the War....
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- Written by: Op-Ed Flysa
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When I was a lad, life was simpler, harder yet straightforward and honest. As the world is flooded with newfangled gadgetry and newfangled woke spoke, I find myself looking back on the post war years with a strange regret. Life is so newfangled that it is a complex place of ever-increasing innovation, and gratitude for the simple things in life is a far distant memory. We should consider how imprisoned we have become in this newfangled world which has rewarded us with so much and yet taken even more by stealth.
As our freedom of movement, speech and even thought is being slowly but surely stolen from us, I feel as though we are under some kind of intoxicating drug of newfangledness imposed by the nerds at the behest of their hidden masters, and I fear that this stupour which has overtaken us, may lead us to craving its comforting numbness, and to forgetting what we had in times gone by before we woke up into perpetual slumber.
Read more: We Had It All — Then We Went and Updated It. Newfangled is not What it's Cracked up to be
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- Written by: Op-Ed Ratty News
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By Roderick (Whiskers) McNibble, Investigative Laundrologist - “Warning: The following article is satire and uses exaggeration and humour to make a point. Not intended as literal fact.”
Dusty Gulch, 2025 – In a world where truth is hung out to dry and speech is tumble-dried into compliance, the Dusty Gulch branch of the Country Women’s Association has had enough. Armed with pegs, petticoats, and an encrypted washboard, they’ve launched a daring resistance movement - one laundry tip at a time.
Leading the charge is none other than Dorothy “Dot” Snellgrove, president of the Dusty Gulch CWA and former codebreaker for the local Bingo Association. “If you can’t say it outright,” she says, “embroider it on a tea towel and peg it on the line.”
Dusty Gulch Tavern regular until he was caught with an air trumpet in his left boot, Benedict “Bruiser” Arnold (local roo shooter and enemy of Mayor Dusty McFookit ) claims he was only “documenting local sock sorting techniques for the Pentagon and helping out with hearing aids.” CWA sources allege he was attempting to livestream Doris McLintock’s sheet folding strategy. Local Cop Bushie McBush said investigations were ongoing and local emus were helping with enquiries.
Read more: When the Whites are Hung out to dry and Speech is Tumble-dried into Compliance
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