Over the last few weeks I have noticed that people are losing their sense of humor. So I decided to write something to remind people that if you can't laugh, you may as well fook off and be done with it.
That is the problem with moslems. They never developed a sense of humor. Like the priests of old who were so full of hell and damnation that they forgot to look at the power of the good and the benefits of a belly laugh.
I mean, how could I ever post the joke about the two moslem mothers looking down at their kids and lamenting " Kids! They blow up so fast these days. "
It's like my old Gran used to say, if all you've got is lemons, eat the fookin things because they could be all you get today.
Lemonade? Fook. We would dream of lemonade only we were too weak to squeeze the juice and Father McGee would have whipped us stupid for daring to say such filthy things as " squeezing the juice. "
He was like that.
Read more: From an Irishman Down Under
By Roderick (Whiskers) McNibble, Ratty News Bureau Chief
There’s panic, pandemonium, and political puffery in the air this week as Dusty Gulch finds itself on the front line of yet another national scandal. Prime Minister Mr Magoo has been caught spouting more fibs than a yabby in a mudhole trying to argue when a yabby pump is on the agenda.
Enter Maurice EDuck, Prentis Penjani, and Lord Squawk Squawk, who have “generously” volunteered their latest contraption to tidy things up: the RotoVac 9000, a six-tonne robotic vacuum cleaner allegedly capable of sucking up every trace of Magoo’s misdeeds - and a few unsuspecting locals if they’re not tied down.
Read more: Operation Hoover Truth: Dusty Gulch Declares a State of “High Suction Alert”
Try herding cats sometime. You’ll crouch, whistle, wave treats, and for one delusional moment, think you’re in charge - until one bolts under the couch, another claws the curtains, and the rest nap defiantly.
Welcome to cancel culture, where both left and right try to corral the wild, furry mess of public opinion.
Now there’s a new twist: digital ID systems and creeping censorship promise to fence in the cats - or neuter them entirely.
Is this a master plan to tame free speech, or just another doomed attempt to herd ideological felines?
Read more: Herding Cats: Cancel Culture, Digital IDs, and the Futility of Control
From Network to today, the prophecy is clear: truth has been turned into a commodity, division has been weaponised, and the system won’t save itself.
In 1976, Network warned us - through Howard Beale’s rage - that our institutions were selling a hollow “sizzle,” a scripted reality.
His warning was not fiction.
Today, media, governments, and institutions have turned truth into performance and division into a weapon.
Everything that can go wrong is going wrong. Brush fires are becoming infernos. Pathways to safety are closing before our eyes.
I write as a besieged observer, wondering how this horror show will end.
Read more: When Outrage Becomes Entertainment, It’s Time to Wake Up
I am personally horrified by what has happened since October 2023. This wasn’t just a Middle East tragedy - it was the spark for a global war of ideology and hate.
Hamas has nothing to be proud of - their actions brought only suffering, not liberation. What’s equally heartbreaking is what has happened in my own country since. I’ve watched antisemitism creep in and take root, openly and shamelessly, under the banner of “activism.” It has poisoned conversations, divided communities, and created anger, violence and hatred. This is no longer about Gaza but a global war of identity and division, where HARMONY is being choked out.
The “Pro-Palestine” movement, as it now stands, feels less like a call for justice and more like a weapon - one used to divide and destroy the harmony that once held our nation together. I have deep sympathy for the innocent people of Gaza, trapped in unimaginable hardship, but I can’t ignore that many there have been taught to celebrate the destruction of Jews and of Israel itself. That’s not a movement for freedom - that’s a war of faith and hatred, and it terrifies me.
Read more: From Nova to a Global Nightmare: The Spark That Lit a Fuse
Much of Australia’s early slang comes from the convict culture of the late 18th and early 19th centuries. Australia was established as a penal colony, with convicts from Britain, Ireland, and other parts of Europe bringing their own slang terms with them.
The working-class origins of many early settlers meant that language was often informal, and humour and making the best of a bad lot became central to the Australian identity.
Convicts and settlers alike used slang to defy authority and express camaraderie. Words like "larrikin" reflect a rebellious, cheeky attitude that became part of our national character.
Slang became a way to survive and thrive in tough, often harsh conditions, helping people bond and deal with adversity. And boy, it must have been tough back then.
In 1925, a small courtroom in Dayton, Tennessee, became the stage for a battle over ideas. The Scopes Trial - immortalised in the film Inherit the Wind - pitted a young teacher, John Scopes, against the state’s Butler Act, which banned the teaching of evolution in schools.
The trial wasn’t just about science versus religion; it was about who gets to control thought.
Clarence Darrow, defending Scopes, warned that dogmatic gatekeepers -religious or secular - pose the greatest threat to the human right to question and reason.
A century later, that warning feels prophetic.
Today’s battle over free inquiry isn’t fought in courtrooms but across digital platforms and halls of government. Governments in the UK, Canada, and Australia are wielding vague laws and weaponised labels - “racist,” “bigot,” “misinformation” - to silence dissent, all in the name of protection.from Australia’s under-16 social media “delay” to the UK’s arrests for “mean tweets,” we are edging toward a digital Butler Act.
Only bold resistance - by figures like Elon Musk and by ordinary citizens - can halt the quiet march on freedom.
Read more: The New Dogma: How Labels and Laws Are Silencing Free Thought
I spent most of my working life in the Aussie bush. It is a way of life most Australians would struggle to understand.
Picture this. You’re on a cattle station the size of a small European country. The nearest hospital is many hundreds of kilometres away, the roads are red dust tracks, and someone in the family has taken a bad turn. No phone, no ambulance, no chance of a doctor riding up on horseback.
Then - a sound overhead. A single-engine plane rattles in from the horizon, wheels kicking up dust as it lands in a paddock. Out climbs a doctor, medical bag in hand. For us blokes out bush, that wasn’t just a plane. That was hope.
That’s the story of the early Royal Flying Doctor Service - or as most people know it, simply “the Flying Doctor.”
Read more: Wings Over the Outback: The Story of the Flying Doctor
Ratty News Exclusive
By Roderick (Whiskers) McNibble, Special Correspondent (aisle seat, back row) Reporting from the Ratty Flyers Fling
In Longreach, the Flyers Ball is elegance under the stars - gowns, pearls, champagne flutes tinkling in perfect rhythm, and speeches that last longer than the sunburn on a tourist’s nose. It is a celebration of generosity, of polish, of refinement.
In Dusty Gulch, we do not often attempt civilisation, but when we do, it is in a manner uniquely our own: sequins glued to bicycle helmets, lamington holsters duct-taped to battered Akubras, and one particularly dedicated fellow who strapped a sausage roll to his forehead to “improve aerodynamics.”
Read more: From Gala to Galah: Dusty Flyers Fling - the Great Hat Rebellion
Back in 2002, an anonymous person sent an email from a disposable email address to a website. The email was headed The Secret Covenant.
It has, for over 20 years, been seen as a promise. But I believe it was a warning.
If "The Secret Covenant" were interpreted as a warning rather than a promise, the meaning would shift significantly, and its tone would transform from sinister collusion to a cautionary tale. This interpretation would frame the document as a call for vigilance against the potential dangers of power, corruption, and manipulation in society.
It could serve as a critique of existing systems, urging people to be aware of the ways through which they might be controlled or misled. Instead of portraying a secret group plotting in the shadows, the document might be trying to highlight how societal manipulation already exists.
The "Covenant" would not be a manifesto of intent, but rather a metaphorical or symbolic description of the current state of the world. It could be warning us about how easily people can be misled, manipulated, or exploited by those in power through media, education, and economic systems. The warning could be against becoming passive consumers of information, blindly trusting authorities, or succumbing to propaganda. In this view, the "Covenant" is urging individuals to develop critical thinking skills, stay informed, and be cautious of any single narrative that seeks to dominate public opinion.
“We are perishing for want of wonder, not for want of wonders.” G. K. Chesterton
Leonard Read’s delightful story, “I, Pencil,” has become a classic, and deservedly so.
I know of no other piece of literature that so succinctly, persuasively, and effectively illustrates the meaning of both Adam Smith’s invisible hand—the possibility of cooperation without coercion—and Friedrich Hayek’s emphasis on the importance of dispersed knowledge and the role of the price system in communicating information that “will make the individuals do the desirable things without anyone having to tell them what to do.” -
Milton Friedman, Nobel Laureate, 1976
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