BLOG COMMENTS POWERED BY DISQUSOur children and our loved ones are lining up to take risks because of covid. Risks with their health and, unlike a bad haircut, trust, health and natural immunity do NOT GROW BACK.As Monty Python reminded us all those years ago, it doesn't quite work that way.Will people who got the clot shot ever be able to say " Oops, I shouldn't have done that - time to go back to before I trusted a professional? "
To me, this whole covid 19 nonsense is like the infamous mosquito hunters sketch. A bit of an over kill.
Which brings me to haircuts: in the days when we had free will but did not understand it was already under attack.
In 2012, I was about to go on holiday to Tasmania with Redhead. My hair was long blonde and had short grey roots. I decided to treat myself to a split end treatment before heading off to Tassie with my Editor in Chief ( long before she became " she who must be obeyed " on a website that did not exist at that juncture.)I went in to this trendy salon and said to the young girl with short pink hair and long black roots " Just snip off the split ends and maybe a few highlights to make my hair look more shiny and healthy. "I wasn't comfortable having my hair done by a young woman with multiple body piercings, tattoos that said " date a dyke - you won't go back to d#ck " but, even back then, 10 years ago, I was concerned that I should not make a fuss based on my perception of this young person who was about to snip her way to my long and carefully cultivated coiffure.So it was that about an hour later I walked out howling and sobbing clutching a bottle of volumizer and a gift voucher for a free follow up " consultation and care package. " One which I never used by the way.As the young pink and black punk lady of opposite attraction to my own snipped and cut, chopped and chipped away, I felt as though I was Rapunzel in the tower and I should run, immediately and vacate said salon at a super speed and with what used to be known as " all haste. "Yet I didn't.
I sat in that chair, looking in the mirror and meekly asked "are you sure that you know what you are doing? "" Oh yes! " she replied with a soft and velvety voice that made me think that all was under control. " I am a professional. "And she snipped some more.As the Canadian truckers do their work, I wonder if she should have left and become a lumberjack?Yeah, that was a bit contrived but I had to find a way to sneak this clip in.By the time I finally made it to Tasmania, I was looking like a chemotherapy patient celebrating my hair growing back and my hair had been dispatched to a dismal and dark day of a place starting with the letter D called a dustbin.Before you all get all " you hate lesbians and have a problem with cancer patients ", let me reassure you.I have had cancer and I was thankful that my treatment involved the loss of an adrenal gland, a kidney and a rather unpleasant tumour.
So often these days we feel obligated to preface a statement about lesbians, gays, transgenders etc with a comment like " Some of my best friends are gay, but... "Well. I have never had any close friends who were or are lesbian and I quite frankly couldn't care what Ms Pink hair did in her private life. It was what she did to my hair that matters.Fast forward to today, 10 years later.I have never been back to a hairdressing salon since that day. My profile photo is one that I made using a computer generated image piece of kit on line and in fact, I have long blonde hair with short grey roots. Which reminds me, I must do a hair colour this weekend...…Anyway, back to the point of this essay.The idea of placing BLIND trust in someone is now not something I will ever do again.Yet I am being asked to have some so called expert inject something into my veins because I am told " Trust me. I am a professional "Hah!I received a photograph today of a beautiful woman whose face is well known to me. Her face is as familiar to me as life itself. Her cheery smile, her pretty cheeky toothy celebration of nearly 50 years of life.In this new reinvention of herself, she looked like a Barbie doll. Her false hair; her false eyelashes and her now false cheeks.She has changed the way she looks. All for vanity. Or is it for self preservation? I have seen it before.It really upset me when this beautiful woman ( not Hillary, obviously ) decided to listen to an expert who said that it would make her perfect. I thought she already was.Yet she trusted the expert and now, I barely recognise her.How long will these cheek fillers last ? At least 1 - 2 years I am told.Why would someone do this to their body?Meanwhile, my hair grew back.Can those people who have cosmetic surgery or take the so called vaccine ever get back to who they were?I just looked in the mirror and saw wrinkles and signs of wear and tear. If I get out of the shower I dare not jump - too much keeps jumping after I land.But I do not have any tattoos and I do not have any botox and I do not have any cosmetic surgery because Covid and a bad hairdresser taught me that vanity is not really very clever and blind trust is not going to restore my freedom or my youth.It will merely make me more dependent and that, my friends, is the last thing I need or want.What is the point of this article you ask yourself?Well, I guess it is to say that if something doesn't feel right, follow your gut feeling.Don't let someone say " trust me, I am a professional. "Because chances are you will regret the moment that you believed themWill people who have lost their sense of self ever look the same again?Will people who get a tattoo ever be able to press the reset button on their personal computer and go back to the last save on the hard drive?Will people who got the clot shot ever be able to say " Oops, I shouldn't have done that - time to go back to before I trusted a professional? "I have a dreadful feeling that all they face is a blue screen of death.And the only way to fix it is to keep getting updates from the manufacturer........