On September 3rd, Australia marks National Flag Day - a day that should fill us…
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Australia was never built on timidity. It was carved out by men and women who…
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It is hard to believe that twenty-eight years have passed since the world lost Diana,…
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Few figures divide Australians as sharply as Ned Kelly. To some, he is a larrikin…
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Paddy’s Golden Mischief: A Rat’s-Eye View of Dusty Gulch By Roderick (Whiskers) McNibble, Chief Correspondent…
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We are told it’s all under control. Markets are managed, energy transitions are planned, and…
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In the shadow of a shattered empire, the Weimar Republic rose in 1919, promising democracy,…
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“Some of us may forget that, of all the Allies, it was the Australians who…
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When 5 Ducks Take on Snakes, Dusty Gulch Prepares for Bloodshed By Roderick (Whiskers) McNibble,…
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" Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. We didn't pass it…
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In early 1951, New Zealand’s waterfronts weren’t just bustling ports - they had become battlegrounds.…
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Ratty News Special: “From Gondwana to Dusty Gulch: The Ostrich Problem” By Roderick (Whiskers) McNibble,…
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During World War II, Australia was a vital cog in the Allied machine, sending troops…
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Of all the magnificent units and regiments of the Australian Army I doubt if…
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The Emu War is one of Australia’s strangest historical events. In late 1932, the government…
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For nearly a decade, I’ve poured my soul into this blog. Twelve hours a day,…
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The Battle of Long Tan took place on August 18, 1966, in the Phuoc Tuy…
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We live in a strange age where even computers can sound like they care. AI…
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RATTY NEWS EXCLUSIVE: DIGITAL DINGO’S BIN BONANZA By Roderick (Whiskers) McNibble – Chief Correspondent, Dusty…
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On 6 and 9 August 1945, the United States detonated two atomic bombs over the…
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Democracy: Now With 97% Less Majority Rule Because who needs the will of the people…
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NEWSFLASH FROM DUSTY GULCH By Roderick (Whiskers) McNibble – Dusty Gulch Bureau Chief Hold onto…
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Between the “Scrap Iron Flotilla” and “the Rats of Tobruk,” turning insults into a point…
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Before Xbox and iPads, we had mist, mud, and pinecones - and we waged battles…
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Picture trench warfare, and you’re probably seeing World War I’s muddy, rat-infested ditches, with soldiers…
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Digitally Removed in Shocking Duck Directive - Trevor the Wallaby Victim of “Knee-Free” Policy – Gulch Governance…
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How my father’s final hour barefoot in the sun taught me what it really means…
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What a healed bone, the smell of leather, and a soldier’s burden reveal about who…
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Thomas Pritchard, Australia's last "Rat of Tobruk" passed away at the age of 102 on…
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In a thoughtful historical essay published on this blog, John Ruddick celebrated the British discovery…
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From immigration policy to identity politics, energy to ideology - the erosion of Western society…
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In the 1970s, listening to Pirate Radio was more than entertainment - it was defiance.…
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On the first day, God created the dog…
God said, “Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of 20 years.”
The dog said, “That’s a long time to be barking. How about only 10 years and I’ll give you back the other 10?”
So God agreed.
On the second day, God created the monkey and said, “Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I’ll give you a 20-year life span.”
The monkey said, “Monkey tricks for 20 years? That’s a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back 10 like the dog did?”
And God agreed.
On the third day, God created the cow and said, “You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer’s family. For this, I will give you a life span of 60 years.”
The cow said, “That’s kind of a tough life you want me to live for 60 years. How about 20 and I’ll give back the other 40?”
And God agreed again.
On the fourth day, God created humans and said, “Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I’ll give you 20 years.”
But the human said, “Only 20 years? Could you possibly give me my 20, the 40 the cow gave back, the 10 the monkey gave back, and the 10 the dog gave back? That makes 80, okay?”
“Okay,” said God. “You asked for it.”
So that is why for our first 20 years, we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next 40 years, we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next 10 years, we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last 10 years, we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.