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When we look back at history, we often speak of "the old wise men" who…
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When dreams turn to infrastructure, who controls the future above us? In 1957, a lonely…
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Once we debated. Now, " they" accuse. And who are they? Talk about diversity.…
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In the 19th century, steam trains roared into history, their unstoppable might revolutionising travel and…
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There are stories we tell because they’re funny. And there are stories we remember because…
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As told by Roderick (Whiskers) McNibble, Chief Correspondent, Fence Sitter & Marmalade Analyst Before the…
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A few weeks ago, someone broke into my quiet little corner of the internet and…
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By Ernest ‘Ember’ McTail, Special Correspondent. Serious News Division of Ratty News The world watches. There…
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It began, as such stories often do, in silence and snow. Kananaskis, Alberta - a…
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As Australia faces economic collapse, and leaders like Donald Trump and Javier Milei take bold…
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In an age of civil unrest, burning cities, and bitter political division, the words “Give…
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Today, I am featuring an article written by our dear blogger Malcolm back in 2021.…
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June is Gay Pride Month. Flags fly, parades roll out, corporations update their logos, and…
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Written: 24 February 2025 This is a true story, about PP’s cancer journey. PP will…
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By Roderick (Whiskers) McNibble, Chief Correspondent, Ratty News Dusk in Alice Springs. I, Roderick…
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The LA riots and Derren Brown's Remote Control (an episode from Trick or Treat where…
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An exclusive editorial investigation by Roderick (Whiskers) McNibble, Chief Correspondent, Ratty News Dusty Gulch - To…
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On June 6, 1944, the world witnessed an extraordinary event that changed the course of…
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Canberra's finest fall from grace... and altitude They came, they posed, they plummeted. In what…
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Anarchy often gets a bad rap. Images of burning buildings, rampant lawlessness, and a general…
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Part 2 of the Cane Series I’ll admit, before diving into this series, I hadn’t…
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Counting the Uncountable: What the Census No Longer Wants to Know – And Why That…
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On the first day, God created the dog…
God said, “Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of 20 years.”
The dog said, “That’s a long time to be barking. How about only 10 years and I’ll give you back the other 10?”
So God agreed.
On the second day, God created the monkey and said, “Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I’ll give you a 20-year life span.”
The monkey said, “Monkey tricks for 20 years? That’s a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back 10 like the dog did?”
And God agreed.
On the third day, God created the cow and said, “You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer’s family. For this, I will give you a life span of 60 years.”
The cow said, “That’s kind of a tough life you want me to live for 60 years. How about 20 and I’ll give back the other 40?”
And God agreed again.
On the fourth day, God created humans and said, “Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I’ll give you 20 years.”
But the human said, “Only 20 years? Could you possibly give me my 20, the 40 the cow gave back, the 10 the monkey gave back, and the 10 the dog gave back? That makes 80, okay?”
“Okay,” said God. “You asked for it.”
So that is why for our first 20 years, we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next 40 years, we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next 10 years, we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last 10 years, we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.