Paddy's Corner

The Pope was handing out miracles to youngsters at a Liverpool venue.

Billy walked on stage and said to the Pope " Can you help me with my hearing?"

The Pope said "Yes ,"and put his hands on Billy's ears and prayed.

He removed his hands and said to Billy "How is your hearing now, my dear son?"

Billy replied " I don't know, it's not until next Wednesday,"

I was just thinking: My mouth waters when I smell steak cooking. I wonder if the same thing happens when vegans mow the lawn. ..

I'm very worried about all this immigration to Australia.
Su Wong marries Lee Wong. The next year, the Wongs have a new baby. The nurse brings over a lovely, healthy, bouncy, but definitely a Caucasian, WHITE baby girl.
“Congratulations!’ says the nurse to the new parents. “Well Mr. Wong, what will you and Mrs. Wong name the baby?”
The puzzled father looks at his new baby girl and says, “Well, two Wong’s don’t make a white, so I think we will name her Sum Ting Wong.” 

My Doctor told me I'm suffering from hypochondria...not surprising, I've had everything else.

An excursion boat off the Atlantic coast was dropping some scuba divers first. After dropping them off, one of the passengers asked the old Irish skipper why the divers fell backwards out of the boat. The skipper replied "Because if they fell forward they'd still be in the fookin' boat."

Paddy was reading a newspaper and Mick says to him "what's the weather forecast?"
Paddy thumbs through the paper and replies
"Old men's weather"
"What the feck is dat?" says Mick
"Poor circulation, bladder problems and flatulent " replies Paddy" "or in plain language cold, wet and windy"