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I recently was told by some neighbours that they had decided to move to a Retirement village  nearby,  but some kilometers from the  beach where we enjoy a couple of minutes walk and we are on the golden sand.    

Husband does not want to move,  but the lady of the house does.    I felt they must be mad, and said so, it was not as if they weren't moneyed  enough  to afford help , plenty of cash,   they had installed a lift,  so no problems with knees .  Lovely house  and  pool.   Why?   Why do some women feel they have to move,   make a change that  their husband does not want  , all because they feel they need  something different.    Both either have reached 80 or in her case nearly there.  

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When my husband was still with us we would have discussed this desire to move ,  attacked it from all angles and decided that probably I was bored and thought that a  change of situation  would make me feel better.   What would we have done about it?    Several proposals would have been forwarded  ..  a holiday a change of scenery ,  oh no ..    travel overseas and inter State is banned.    

Is this the problem, this lockdown has altered our routines , our lives have been put on hold , only answer is  sell up and move somewhere different.    We are still allowed to do that....   that will relieve the boredom.    We will have the  fun of packing , the fun of setting up a new house , meeting new people, joining new clubs.   Discarding things we no longer use  or want to keep.

Until the  reality  returns and  suddenly  it is realized what has happened.  Neither one is happy , miss the friends and neighbours we have known for years.    Miss the  familiar routine, walk to the beach with the dog every morning , chat with the others  enjoying the sunrise  and the crashing waves.    Oh why did we move.

This is why  it so important to both have an input into any decision that will effect both members of the   family.   Be fair about it, not just say this is what I want.  This is what we are going to do.    We have to get our side of the situation out in the open too.    Don't let ourselves be  persuaded to do something we know will be  a disaster.   Just because we don't want to upset the lady of the house.    Or the leaders in the other houses. 

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This year and it is nearly over, but will the restrictions , the  frustrations, the fear  be over .   Will we have to be careful that because of this terrible year we have not done and made decisions we will regret .  Such as  selling our lovely home, trying to find  light at the end of the tunnel , trying to put some perspective back into living.

This is why we talk things over and we say what we feel,  try and find a solution  that is satisfactory to both.   It is no good staying silent  and   trying to be helpful if it is going to make one of you distressed and unhappy.  

 

That is not what marriage is all about , it is a Partnership, doing  and discussing  changes   to the benefit of both not just one member .  Be honest , be truthful , that is what works in the end.

What a pity our Governments don't share this view.

 

 

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