In recent years, it has been fashionable to be Woke.... fashionable to be " gay ", " transgender ", " black ", " climate change aware ", vaxxed " and vegan.
Nothing appears to stop these dedicated disciples from following the latest fashion trend of being completely dedicated to being complete dickheads in order to gain approval from the social media trolls, leftie luvvies and the woke brigade.
If mutilating your teenage body to become accepted is the latest fashion, thousands of young people are jumping on the bandwagon. If gluing yourself to a road will get applause from your online chums, then do it. After all, who can blame you? You are simply a dedicated follower of fashion.
In the age of TikTok and Instagram, trends aren’t just fleeting moments of entertainment - they’re a full-time obsession, reshaping how young people see themselves and the world. Once, kids wanted to grow up to be astronauts or teachers. Now? They dream of going viral by balancing a bowl of noodles on their heads while lip-syncing to a sped-up remix of a Taylor Swift song.
It starts innocently enough. One kid posts a video of themselves eating an entire lemon with a deadpan expression, and before you know it, half the school is racing to the store to buy citrus, determined to "get in on it." But trends don’t stop at harmless antics. Soon, it’s about chugging questionable concoctions, dancing on unsafe ledges, or attempting bizarre "hacks" that seem designed by an alien with no understanding of human anatomy.
Pants hanging around their knees, jeans that look like they survived 20 years in an old agitator washing machine.... they are just dedicated followers of fashion.
The problem with trends is they reward the extreme. The more absurd, dangerous, or flat-out ridiculous, the more views it racks up. Why stick to painting your nails when you can glue rhinestones to your eyelids and call it "bedazzle-lashes"? Why settle for wearing an outfit twice when you can cut it into pieces and transform it into a questionable "upcycled" ensemble?
For kids, these trends are more than fads - they’re social currency. Participation isn’t optional; it’s a rite of passage, a way to belong in a world where algorithms decide popularity. And if that means duct-taping your eyebrows to your forehead for a "no-brow challenge," so be it.
When I was growing up, my father reacted badly to a young suitor who came to ask for permission to take me out on a date. I was 15 years old and it was 1970.
My father was not amused. The young man was wearing an item of clothing that my Dad did not like. Winklepicker shoes. In fact, he was so not amused that he told the young suitor to " bugger off " and he chased him down our driveway into oblivion.
Dad was quite adamant that no daughter of his would go out with a boy who wore stupid shoes. In his opinion, it was a sign of weak character that this lad followed a fashion trend instead of being " normal ".
It was only after remembering the day all those years ago that Dad, wielding a shovel, protected me from impending doom, that I decided to research the very thing that had offended him so badly.
Winklepicker Shoes.
Twenty years earlier, back in the swinging '50s, everything was rockin' and rollin', and fashion was stepping into uncharted territory. Amidst the quiffs and bobby socks, a peculiar shoe style emerged, captivating the hearts and (hopefully not) the toes of many. Enter the winklepickers.
These shoes were designed with one clear objective in mind: to give the wearer the most insanely pointy toes ever seen on Earth. Seriously, forget about finger-pointing; it was all about foot-pointing and being " fashionable. "
The term "winklepicker" originates from the British slang term "winkle," referring to a small edible sea snail.
Winklepickers were initially inspired by the ‘stylish’ 15th century shoe called a Crakow - also known as the Krakow or Poulaine shoe.
These shoes were a striking departure from the footwear norms of the time, with their exaggeratedly long and pointed toes that curled upwards, resembling the beak of a bird. In fact, the term "poulaine" comes from the French word for "beak."
The origins of the Cracow shoe can be traced back to Eastern influence. It is believed that Polish knights returning from the crusades in the Middle East brought back exotic fashion trends, including the elongated footwear styles they encountered there.
As the Cracow shoe gained popularity, its length became a symbol of social status and wealth. The longer and more extravagantly pointed the shoe, the higher the social standing of the wearer. Nobles and the upper class would often don Cracow shoes that extended a foot or more beyond the wearer's actual toes, effectively turning their feet into a fantastical fashion statement.
However, there was a catch to this fashionable indulgence. The exaggerated length of the Cracow shoe presented a host of practical challenges. Walking became a precarious task, as the toes would often catch on stairs or obstacles in the street.
To overcome these challenges, wearers would sometimes attach small chains from their knees to the tips of their shoes, acting as a sort of guide to prevent the toes from catching and tripping them up. It was an ingenious albeit slightly comical solution to a fashion problem. What a shame President Biden's mob never thought of that....
As with many fashion trends, the Cracow shoe eventually fell out of favour. By the 15th century, practicality and changing fashion tastes led to a decline in its popularity, and more sensible footwear styles took its place.
The court of King Edward IV eventually found them offensive enough to pass a sumptuary law ( Laws made for the purpose of restraining luxury or extravagance ) prohibiting shoe tips that extended over two inches beyond the toe.
When winklepickers hit the scene, the world was left wide-eyed and toe-tapping, wondering if the wearers were secretly auditioning for the role of court jester. But, lo and behold, these shoes found their way onto the feet of famous icons like Elvis Presley and The Beatles, and suddenly, everyone wanted a slice of the pointy pie.
But as with all trends, the bubble eventually burst, and winklepickers faded into the shadows of fashion history. The world collectively breathed a sigh of relief, knowing that their toes were safe from the imminent dangers of spontaneous eye poking.
Fast forward to today, and we find ourselves in a world where sneakers reign supreme, and practicality is key. Winklepickers may have become a mere footnote in the history of fashion, but their legacy lives on as a testament to the enduring idiocy of humanity. That if something is fashionable, people will line up to embrace it.
Oh, I Dunno.... a bit like becoming trans and chopping your bits off because it is on trend. because it is so " now. "
My Dad would flip out. And rightfully so. Perhaps if my parents did the same, we might have saved a lot of mis steps and stumbles along the way.
It’s easy to laugh at the absurdity of trends like "slugging your face with Vaseline" or the infamous Tide Pod challenge, but the truth is, these trends highlight a deeper problem: a lack of critical thinking. In the rush to chase likes and views, kids (and adults) often forget to ask, Is this worth it?
Perhaps the antidote lies in teaching the value of slowing down, of being mindful instead of mindless. Because while TikTok trends may come and go, the ability to think critically and make sensible choices never goes out of style.
After all, as history has shown, it’s hard to go viral from the hospital bed.
Have I made my point? It's all a bit Kinky really.
Shaydee.
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