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OK, we lost the last election to a mob of arsewipes and dickheads.

Here's a tongue in cheek article for my fellow disillusioned Australian voters. 

I apologise in advance for any offence I may give but equally, most people who would be offended probably can't understand a word of it anyway! And, if they are, as Rhett Buttler said, quite frankly, I don't give a damn. 

So here goes. By the way, there is a translation at the end of it article. 

Downunder, we’re spewin’. I reckon that there’s a fair few of us who had a chunder on Saturday night and Sunday arvo and we’re still wondering how we could have a bunch of fairies in charge of Oz.

A few tinnies have been sunk since then and we’re still trying to get our heads around what happened. 


Mate, it looks like we’ll be speaking chinkie wong within a few years and throwing another grasshopper on the barbie.

I used to get pissed off that we had Curry Muncher Call Centres and 10 pound poms whinging about old blighty. Now we’ve got chinkies and  blokes who want to marry camels. 


What’s a bloke to do?

I’m buggered if I know.

I say we’re better off with the curry munchers and even the ruskies.

Even the bloody wogs and the dagos. 

At least they didn’t ask us to stop driving the Camira or the Kingswood. 


Now I’m looking forward to a winter of hitting the frog and toad using shanks pony.

I'm having a Ted Bullpitt moment. 



I reckon I might go and give my shiela a hug and meet my mates down the boozer or at the bottle-o.  


At the minute, I’m thinking I’m better off hitting the esky and sailing off to who knows bugger where. It’s that stuffed.

Aussie beer ad 1984 with Australian Cricket Team

The missus told me to keep my trap shut and go and fix the dunny. It’s been leaking for yonks.

Apparently all I do is speak a load of bullshit and I need to get a grip.

I saw Bazza and Shazza the other night and they said that they are on board.

Mind you, we might be better off on the esky and coming back in to Chrissie Island and registering as refos.

Hell, might even end up in Bilo with a free house.

Yep, sounds like a goer. 


Here it is translated into English.

I was very disappointed with the outcome of the Australian Election on last Saturday night . 

Back in 2019, many knew it was over. 


We were quite upset and some of us had rather too much to drink. We had rather bad hangovers after over indulging, and some continued their disappointment into Sunday, much to our shame.

Many of us are worried about the potential Communist China influence in Australia. We are most concerned. 


Box Hill Police Station Melbourne Australia

With the growing threat of the Climate Change activists in charge, we fear that our agricultural industry will be so severely controlled that we may have to accept eating labroratory grown meat or, heaven forbid, insects in order to obtain protein in our diets.

Years ago, we worried about the flow of migrants from India. England and Italy and Greece. 


Perhaps Russians are more aligned in their thinking to us that we hitherto realised?

Yes, I am concerned about the potential loss of petrol and diesel. Will we have to resort to walking everywhere? I cannot afford an electric car. 

 Sometimes I feel that I would be better off to leave Australia, but where would I go?

Barry and Sharon agree. They would join me but my wife tells me I worry too much.

Surely I am better off to focus on what is important at home? The plumbing has been problematic for some time.

I feel like a failure and it is easier to ignore what is in my here and now and just have a drink.

But my wife feels that if she just holds me in her arms, all will be alright.

I still worry though.

I feel that migrants are getting better treatment than those of us who have worked, paid taxes and contributed for so many years.

I look at the family from Sri Lanka who lived in Biloela in Queensland and were deported for having arrived as illegal immigrants. 

They kept appealing, using tax payer funds and are now coming back.

It disheartens me.

I might be better off leaving and coming back as a migrant.

It would seem that I would have more rights than I do as a citizen of this Nation. 


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