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I wake up every morning and, instead of feeling a sense of hope and expectation, I feel a sense of dread. I turn on my computer and catch the overnight news and see nothing but covid, vaccine, mandate, restriction and fear. All the buzz words in the current woke vocabulary. 

How I miss the days when I used to wake up and think about going to the bakery to buy some doughnuts and head down to Redhead's place and dine in the delights of a creamy strawberry jam filled pastry treat that would give us both a few moments of pleasure on the lips and a lifetime on the hips. As the saying goes.

But I didn't care because Miss Redhead would wiggle her cute little redhead toes and ooh and ahh and enjoy the scrumptious treat that sat before her. Those toes have wiggled for coming up 90 years and any opportunity for a toe wiggling ceremony suits me just fine. 

For those of you who do not know, Redhead is my Mum. And a good Mum she is. A bossy Mum ( which she calls " efficient " ) but an efficient Mum with a rather deep love of certain doughnuts from a certain bakery just down the road. 

Oh, how I miss those days of naughty nonsense and fun filled caloric laden doughy delights.

Alas, I am no longer able to go to my local bakery because I am unvaccinated. I did think about standing outside and asking someone to take my money and go in to fetch said bakery treat on my behalf... but would said person accept my soiled currency and do as I asked?

I was very tempted to risk going in and announcing, proudly, " I am unvaccinated and I will have my two creamy doughnuts, filled with Maleny jersey cream. I will have my homemade strawberry jam in my doughnut made with Australian flour and the finest Australian ingredients. For I am unvaccinated! "


But I saw the footage of the woman just north of me in Hervey Bay who dared to go into a bakery and buy a coffee. Look where she ended up? In the BIG HOUSE. Arrested by 5 police and shoved in the back of a paddy wagon. 


So, no more scrumptious delicious and decadent doughnuts for me or for Redhead. I have no desire to go to the BIG HOUSE. I suspect that more than my toes would be wiggling and that is not something I relish. Particularly from Miss Redhead.


In fact, I haven't seen Redhead wiggle her toes in delight for some time. Such is the misery that engulfs us as Australians these days.

I am an early riser. Normally up and about before dawn. I think it might be something to do with the fact that I am off to bed around 8 pm and that suits me just fine. 

Redhead and I don't go out much anymore. We sneak down to the local supermarket before the crowds. I am back to my place by 9 am, locked up safe and sound for the day just in case the police decide to crash the party and haul us off for not wearing a mask or not being vaccinated. It reminds me of the old Charlton Heston movie " Omega Man " where he had to sneak out before the zombies descended.


I cannot help but wonder how much longer we can go on living like this. In a perpetual state of uncertainty and fear. Waking up in the morning to know if we are off to the new Wellcamp quarantine centre to be locked up for " our own good."

Wellcamp. yeah, right.

I love Toowoomba but I do not want to go into a camp with Redhead for " my protection. " I do not want to be a guest. I really do not. 



I remember watching Omega Man with my late father. We laughed and said how silly it was.

How wrong we were. 

 Meanwhile I can only think about how life has changed. 

 In 2005, I had Cancer. I was waiting for my surgery to remove the kidney that decided to misbehave and develop a rather large and painful tumour that was growing at an alarming rate. The pain was dreadful.

One day, I was walking on the beach with Redhead and the agony became too much. I collapsed on the sand and wept. " I can't go on " I said and she picked me up and said " Yes you can. "

We are at this stage right now.

We are beyond doughnuts and bakeries being closed to us. We are beyond sneaking out before the cops come out to check on us.

We are at the point of collapse.

We are over the pain. We can't go on.

But, as Redhead so wisely all those years ago, " yes you can "

We must stay strong. We must stand up. We must keep fighting this Cancer that has infected our society.

We can survive. But we must get back on our feet and wake up and keep bloody fighting. The minute we collapse and stay down on our knees, it is over.

We need to " buck up " and get up and stand up. 

My name is Shaydee and I give a damn.



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