The PR Blog

By Roderick (Whiskers) McNibble, Special Correspondent (aisle seat, back row) 

The Prime Minister has officially hit Platinum-Plus on the Ratty Airways Frequent Flyer Club, logging more miles than a croc turbo-charged on WDPT boosters. His latest diplomatic detour: a lightning sprint to the UN, accompanied by Toto, whose primary task seemed to be preventing lamingtons from making a daring escape from his carry-on..... and to set up the selfie that the PM wanted so desperately.  

So, exclusive to Ratty News, here is how it went down and how Trump first learned of Dusty Gulch.... and how our PM got a selfie of global significance.

It all started when Ratty Airlines was taken over by Duck HQ to provide a flight for a Very Important Pruck, none other than the Air Bus himself. Our lead bi plane, powered by Whiskers Dynamic Propulsion, could get him to New York faster than UberRoo delivering a McFookit Burger from Dusty McFookit's burger joint to the Dusty Dingo. In other words, fast. 

But why the hurry? That was where I came in, your rodent with a nose for a story. Buckle up folks, you are in for one ducker of a ride,

 In-Flight Service:
The CWA ladies, resplendent in aprons stitched with quantum lamington thread, served complimentary Emu Brew and handed out “emergency whiskerons” to calm turbulence. Passengers were sternly warned: do not place lamingtons in overhead lockers -  any sugar-based anti-gravity mishap voids the Frequent Flyer insurance plan.

Safety Briefing:
“In the event of a rogue duck attack, whiskers will drop from the ceiling. Secure your own whiskers before assisting a kangaroo. WDPT boosters may spurt unexpectedly. Remain seated until all crocs have landed.”

Arrival Chaos
Touchdown in New York was… unconventional. A kangaroo hopped straight onto the podium, claiming territorial rights over the press conference. I, whiskers bristling, was whisked into the secure area for an exclusive with President Trump: 

“Roderick, I love whiskers - tremendous whiskers. Dusty Gulch is doing incredible things - the lamingtons, spectacular. The ducks? Total disaster. But with whisker power, Dusty Gulch will be winning so much, you’ll get tired of winning!”

The PM, meanwhile, was last spotted in the baggage hall, explaining to Toto why his luggage refused to deplane. 

Dusty Gulch Dispatch: McFookit Diplomacy  -  How the PM Snagged Trump
By Roderick (Whiskers) McNibble, Special Correspondent (sauce stains on whiskers)

It wasn’t cunning diplomacy, nor Toto’s bungled baggage handling, that secured his prized selfie with President Trump. No -  it was a burger. A McFookit Burger Deluxe, grilled to perfection and smuggled across the Pacific in a lamington tin marked “Very Important Stuff -  Do Not Open.”

The Bait:
Trump’s legendary burger-radar, more finely tuned than the WDPT whisker grid, picked up the scent somewhere between the Escalator and the Diet Emu Brew fridge. He followed the trail like a croc chasing lamington crumbs upriver.

The Selfie Strike:
With Trump’s eyes locked on the sizzling McFookit, the PM pounced from behind a crate of diplomatic lamingtons. Phone in hand:

“Just one shot for the folks back home!”

Trump, mid-bite, leaned in for the snap.

“Tremendous burger. Best burger. Maybe the best selfie too -  people are saying it’s historic. Dusty Gulch -  you’re going to love this one.”

Aftermath:
The McFookit Burger vanished in three bites. The PM got his photo op. Trump immediately inquired about a franchise deal, insisting the White House kitchen could “never compete with Dusty Gulch flame-grill technology.”

By Roderick (Whiskers) McNibble, Field Correspondent (tapped into the wrong frequency, again)

CLASSIFIED DOSSIER – INITIATED BY ORDER OF PRIME MINISTER 

Mission Objective:

• Deliver hot McFookit Burger to UN HQ.

• Deploy burger as bait to immobilise President Trump.

• Secure selfie of global significance.

• Deploy secondary chaos (escalator freeze, teleprompter sabotage) to cover primary objective.

The McFookit Burger’s aroma was now in full bloom. Trump’s radar locked on. He veered off-course.

The PM leapt from behind diplomatic lamington crates, phone in hand.

“Mr President -  just one quick shot for the folks back home!”

Trump leaned in, mid-bite. Shutter clicked. Selfie secured.

Job done. 

And there you have it folks. While Trump fights for freedom. Airbus gets a selfie, Ah, Australia, the Lucky Country. 

This is Roderick ( Whiskers ) McNibble signing off from The Wombat Burrow. Stay sharp and keep your whiskers twitching. 

(This dispatch is satire. Don’t panic. Unless you’re Airbus.)