RATTY NEWS EXCLUSIVE
THE DUCKS WHO KNEW TOO MUCH
How the Mysterious Death of the Dusty Nine May Have Exposed the Greatest Intelligence Failure in Dusty Gulch History
By Roderick "Whiskers" McNibble
Chief Investigative Correspondent
There are moments in a reporter's life when the facts refuse to sit quietly.
This is one of them.
For almost two years, nine ducks wandered the dams and paddocks of Dusty Gulch. They appeared harmless enough, content to paddle through muddy water, wander the streets, inspect the occasional puddle and graciously accept breadcrumbs from passing locals.
Naturally, rumours began.
Some claimed they were spies for the Honklanders.
Others insisted they reported directly to Prentis Penjani's Department of Suspicious Waterfowl Activities.
Trevor the Wallaby dismissed such talk.
"They're ducks," he told Ratty News. "Mind you... they are unusually well organised ducks."
Yesterday morning, the Dusty Nine were murdered following what authorities have described only as "an unfortunate incident involving two white canine Gulchian residents who may or may not have been vampire werewolves."
Most communities would regard that as a sad but simple event.
Ratty News does not.
Because our investigation has uncovered evidence suggesting the Dusty Nine were anything but ordinary.
THE FIRST THEORY
For months, public opinion settled upon the obvious conclusion.
The ducks were enemy agents.
After all, they watched everything.
They travelled together.
They seemed remarkably interested whenever Mayor Dusty McFookit wandered past the dam or went to the Dusty Dingo.
More than one resident remarked that they appeared to be "counting things."
We assumed they were gathering intelligence.
It now appears they may have been.
But not for the side we imagined.
THE BOMBSHELL
Late yesterday afternoon, Ratty News received information from a source whose whiskers have proved reliable in the past.
The message was astonishing.
The Dusty Nine were not working for the Honklanders.
They were working against them.
According to intelligence sources close to the legendary Feline Five, the ducks had been quietly observing movements around Dusty Gulch for nearly two years.
Their greatest weapon was not secrecy.
It was because they were ducks.
Everyone believed they were spies.
Nobody imagined they might actually be guardians, working closely with Mrs McFookit and the Feline Five.
They allowed the rumours to flourish.
The enemy believed the deception.
So did we.
THE IMPOSSIBLE QUESTION
And that brings us to the question nobody in Dusty Gulch wishes to ask.
If the ducks were part of Mrs McFookit's intelligence network...
Why were they left to die?
Everyone knows Mrs McFookit.
Everyone knows the stories.
Months ago she travelled deep into Asia to seek the counsel of the mysterious Old Wise Man, known as Lolo.
Nobody knows what passed between them.
They only know she returned...
...knowing things.
Since then, the Feline Five have earned an almost mythical reputation.
A suspicious footprint?
They knew.
A missing lamington?
They knew.
Prentis Penjani buying binoculars?
They knew before he did.
Nothing escaped them.
Until now.
THE FAILURE THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN IMPOSSIBLE
Ratty News intelligence analysts have been working throughout the night.
Three possibilities have emerged.
The first is that the legendary Lotus Channel – the secure communications link between Mrs McFookit and her field operatives - has been compromised.
If so, warnings may never have reached Dusty Gulch.
The second possibility is even more disturbing.
A mole.
Someone, somewhere, knew exactly who the Dusty Nine really were.
The third possibility has caused experienced investigators to fall completely silent.
What if the Honklanders have cracked the famous Whiskers Cypher?
Readers may recall that this highly sophisticated encryption system was developed by your correspondent using advanced mathematical principles, several late nights and a particularly good cheese sandwich.
Should the cypher have been broken, every operation conducted by the Feline Five could already be exposed.
Ratty News sincerely hopes this is not the case.
A MOMENT OF SILENCE
An unconfirmed report reached Ratty News shortly before this edition went to press.
When Mrs McFookit was informed of the fate of the Dusty Nine, she did not speak.
She did not shout.
She did not issue orders.
She simply looked towards the dam.
The five cats sitting around her kitchen table also remained silent.
Veteran intelligence officers know exactly what this means.
When Mrs McFookit becomes quiet...
Everyone else should become nervous. As Mayor Dusty McFookit well knows.
WHO BENEFITS?
Military analysts now fear the Honklanders may believe Dusty Gulch has lost its first line of defense.
Without the Dusty Nine...
Who watches the eastern dam?
Who reports suspicious breadcrumb activity?
Who keeps count of Prentis Penjani's increasingly unusual visits to the wetlands?
Most importantly...
Who is watching the honklanders?
These are not questions Ratty News ever imagined it would need to ask.
Yet here we are.
THE LAST WATCH
Mayor Dusty McFookit removed his hat yesterday afternoon and looked across the now-empty pond.
"They were strange ducks," he admitted.
"They watched everything."
He paused for a long moment.
"But they were our strange ducks."
As darkness settled over Dusty Gulch, one light still burned in Mrs McFookit's kitchen.
The Feline Five had gathered.
The tea had gone cold.
No one spoke.
Outside, the pond lay strangely silent.
Across the table rested an old map of Dusty Gulch.
One small section had been circled in red.
Mrs McFookit, now in her feline persona, folded the map, looked at the five waiting cats and quietly said,
"If they found the ducks..."
She stopped.
The room remained perfectly still.
"...they haven't finished yet."
At that precise moment, somewhere beyond the reeds...
...a lone honklander honked.
Coincidence?
Ratty News no longer believes in coincidences.
Was it a warning or a promise ... or both?
This is Roderick ( Whiskers ) signing out - stay twitchy and keep an eye on your ducks.
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