The story to be told is about Mrs McFookit’s visit to Asia, on an undercover mission to locate, if it exists, the imitation lamington factory “allegedly” producing third rate lamingtons done on the cheap by child labour.
The cover story was a visit to her family home, to touch base with family and friends, which worked quite well as a cover for the actual reason for the visit.
Too far to go by boat, so Ratty Airways were approached for the flight. Arrangements were made, packing was done, preparations completed by all involved, and soon liftoff in the orange bi-plane.
The flight from Dusty Gulch went smoothly enough in the Ratty Airway orange bi-plane, powered by the astonishing Whiskers Propulsion technology, making Ratty Airways the envy of all other airlines in the world. This was especially so now that the deliberate “fuel crisis” was launched to ensure the fuel companies made even more obscene profits, as compared to Ratty Airways working as always at cost only for the residents of Dusty Gulch.
In-flight meals were outstanding: fresh scones with strawberry jam and cream, freshly baked lamingtons, washed down with icy cold Emu Ale if desired. This is part of the Dusty Gulch Emu brand of beers.
However, Mrs McFookit only drinks the Dusty Gulch equivalent of Bushells tea, known locally as Trevor’s tea (named after a certain brave and famous titanium-kneed wallaby), which comes in reusable teabags.
An outstanding cuppa was made “traditionally” by boiling the billy, dropping in a couple of reusable teabags, and spinning the billy the full circle several times, as if Dennis Lillie was about to bowl a bouncer.
Mrs McFookit’s luggage remained in keeping with Orange power.
After informants informed the uninformed, the imitation lamington factory was located, and Mrs McFookit entered into negotiations with the company board of directors, who gave assurances they would stop production.
Mrs McFookit, being very wise, smelled a rat .. a bloody big rat ... which was unlikely to cease production due to the profits being made at the expense of Dusty Gulch lamington production.
Observations proved the board of directors were not sincere, as imitation lamington production continued as if nothing had happened.
This matter now needed to be dealt with urgently. Time was short. The orange bi-plane of Ratty Airways was already loaded with orange bunker busters. This betrayal of the word of the board of directors was not unexpected.
The bombing runs commenced, with orange bunker busters raining down upon the factory.
However, the factory had defences which needed to be nullified. These defences went into action, using Shanghai’s from Shanghai, firing sticky rice-covered stale dim sims at the Ratty Airways orange bi-plane. Some of these projectiles hit the aircraft, inflicting damage.
This airborne battle became a legend, called the “Battle of Bi-Plane”.
Despite the damage, Ratty Airways continued dropping orange bunker busters and succeeded in levelling the lamington factory along with all the Shanghai’s from Shanghai placements.
Mission accomplished.
Unfortunately, due to damage to the Ratty Airways orange bi-plane from sticky rice-covered stale dim sims, the aircraft had no option but to have Mrs McFookit use a parachute and jump off, to find her way back to Dusty Gulch by other means.
The orange bi-plane, now a few kilograms lighter, used maximum Whiskers Propulsion power available and struggled back to Dusty Gulch, landing clumsily but safely.
Meanwhile, Mrs McFookit looked around in the Asian country and spotted an orange Jeepney, aha, saved.
And yes, it was an orange-friendly Jeepney, with the driver well aware of the hazards existing outside of Orange policies.
The Jeepney took Mrs McFookit to the nearest international airport, where a ticket was waiting, thanks to the efforts of the CWA ladies in Dusty Gulch being prepared for such an event.
The downside was that the flight home was with Qaintarse, well known for acts of delay.
In accordance with Qaintarse board of governors policy, prior to boarding, Mrs McFookit was subjected to her orange-coloured luggage being opened and searched by “officials” looking for illegal oranges and lamingtons.
Mrs McFookit was well aware of these risks. Nothing was found, and the all-clear was given.
Being Qaintarse, the night flight departure was delayed for 55 minutes, eventually arriving in the capital city of Brittlebox after 8 hours flying in uncomfortable seats preventing sleep.
Brittlebox is well over a thousand kilometres from Dusty Gulch, thus a connecting flight was necessary. The Qaintarse policy of delays was still in effect. this time worse.
Word had got through about the mysterious levelling of a certain imitation lamington factory in an Asian country, so more doubled-up bag searching occurred.
Mrs McFookit’s orange luggage was singled out for closer inspection. Again, it was claimed the search was for illegal importing of oranges and lamingtons—an explanation which sounded very much like “fake news”.
Eventually the luggage was cleared, and Mrs McFookit boarded the Qaintarse aircraft for the final leg of the journey home.
All aboard and settled into uncomfortable seats, the captain then ordered all passengers to disembark, claiming the aircraft had developed an “issue”.
Mrs McFookit was not impressed, however there was little that could be done but wait for a replacement aircraft.
An hour later, the replacement Qaintarse aircraft arrived, and eventually Mrs McFookit boarded for the long-awaited flight home to Dusty Gulch.
She arrived, though late, to a hero’s welcome for her role in the destruction of the Asian imitation lamington factory.
Celebrations began with Trevor’s tea and freshly made fair dinkum lamingtons, freshly baked scones with strawberry jam and fresh cream. Emu beer on tap was free for the return of the hero at the Dusty Gulch pub.
The residents enjoyed themselves and emptied all the Emu beer kegs, the Dusty Gulch pub once again became the pub with no beer.
Mrs McFookit was glad to be back home in Dusty Gulch again, peace, space, few people, and the Dusty Gulch crew.
A huge contrast to travel in the Asian country with millions of people, lots of noise, heavy traffic congesting roads, black diesel fumes spewing from Jeepneys and big trucks, high humidity, heat, and markets where dogs left dog poo about the place.
Generally… not the best at all.
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