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'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the land

not much was happening, what was next planned?

The stockings were placed haphazardly, despair

Hoping St Nicholas would PLEASE bring us cheer

The children still masked, lay in their bed

while visions of freedom danced in their head

Mama had her vodka and I a night cap

Couldn't settle our brains we had already napped

Suddenly outside there arose such a clatter

I racked a shell and went to check on the matter

As I crept to the window, no, not in a flash

I moved the curtains and peeked past the sash

The moon on the piles of dirty plowed snow

enhanced the dystopian look we all know

My eyes fixed and widened with joy not fear

There was Santa, his sleigh and of course eight reindeer

The decked out driver was lively and quick

With his guns and his ammo holy shit St Nick?!?

He whistled and shouted and called out some names

F**k Clinton, F**k Cuomo, F**k Pelosi, F**k Schiff

F**k Harris and Biden and all the lefty shits!

“Now lock away, lock away, lock away all!”


I rubbed my eyes and refocused my stare

The perps, In a cell, they were all right there

Santa's eyes twinkled the reindeer stood tight

Oh my God I thought, what an amazing sight

He continued out loud, listing tricks used to suppress,

“No more masks, No more lockdowns, you will have redress!”

“Quarantine ends,all the shops will now open!”

“No more stolen elections, Santa has spoken!”

Shocked at the vision, I had to kneel on the floor

When suddenly there was a loud knock at the door

There he stood in his tac from his hat to his boots

I exclaimed kiddingly “Santa!, please don't shoot!”

His eyes they twinkled and his smile was merry

He said “Please fill my flask?”, “The missus only had sherry”

Of course he came in and I was shaking his hand

Then I grabbed the whiskey and heard the plan

He was gathering the criminals this Holy Eve

they were going to Gitmo,never to leave.

As fast as it started it ended right there

He was gone in an instant I know not where.

The Sun, in the morning , broke over cloud banks

and streamed through my window, I muttered “thanks”.

I cracked my eyes and thought  "was it all in my head?"

"That's it no more fruitcake and whiskey then bed."

I slogged to the bath, fed and petted the cat

for an instant it seemed like he smiled at that

Making some coffee, I turned to the tree

There was a large box of ammo sitting right there for me

The note said “Thanks for the whiskey, hang tight”

“Good things are happening just out of sight”

I again rubbed my eyes, "there's no way this can be real"

Grabbing my coffee I let out an elated schoolgirl squeal

At the computer I wondered "What would the news reveal?"

Sure as shit, everything, all of it, was real

The world was abuzz with breaking headlines

Arrests were ongoing in these “Hopeful of Times”.

The future's uncertain, for eons It's been

We can only have hope that the right side will win

Regardless the outcome, as time marches us there

For now I can wish you:

 "Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!!"

republished with kind permission 

https://theferalirishman.blogspot.com/2020/12/twas-night-before-christmas-retelling.html

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