In the blistering heat of Outback Queensland, where dust storms roll like ghosts across the red earth, an abandoned shed became the unlikely birthplace of a revolution. What started as a crazy experiment in AI-generated images... depicting biplanes with no propellers, six-fingered rat pilots, and a society of industrious rats...soon spiraled into something far greater.
Fueled by the ingenuity of a local rat colony and the culinary expertise of the Country Women’s Association, vats of marmalade flowed, oranges mysteriously vanished from a nearby orchard, and an airline of bright orange, methane-powered biplanes took to the skies.
Their destination? Washington, D.C. Their mission? To deliver a kangaroo and her joey to Trump’s inauguration, while an enigmatic orange Australian frog was destined to shake hands with the President himself. How did a shed full of rodents, airborne citrus-fueled propulsion, and a mysterious force known as Whisker Dynamics turn fantasy into reality? Strap in...this is a tale like no other.
It is a fact that we here at Patriotrealm, are often asked how orange bi planes fly when they often have no propellers or they have back-to-front wings. Well, the truth is that it all started in Longreach in Outback Queensland when one of our readers experienced a rat plague. A rather imaginative Irishman entered the chat and came up with some thoughts and imaginative responses.... which included bombing the shit out of Canberra with oranges and sending some dinky di Aussies to America to represent our great country.
Thus we have spent many hours and months exploring the wonders of Ratty Airways and asking " What are those rats doing? "
The purpose of this article is to set the record straight. It has been endorsed by the Prime Minister, the Energy Minister and lots of other thoroughly reliable sources of truth. Including Australia's Foreign Minister and the current Ambassador to Washington.
In fact, I am told that there is a documentary being made by ABC about the challenges of starting up an airline in the bush against all odds. I know, I know, that sounds really dumb. A Queensland and Northern Territory Airline Service? Crazy!
So here is the story. And you may be surprised where it leads..... very surprised indeed....
It was about a year ago that the rats first appeared en masse in this Outback town , renowned for being the birthplace of QANTAS. One of our commenters lamented that he was putting out ratbaits but to no avail. They just kept coming back in greater numbers.
One day , his prized orange and mandarin trees were stripped of fruit: our other readers suggested that the rats were making marmalade but how? And so the saga began. Every morning we awoke to what is now known as the " Rat Report. " Our humble blog which features historical war history, nostalgia, pro conservative values and mundane things like family love and let's get back to commonsense... suddenly had an active community discussing rats making marmalade in the Australian Outback.
Soon, it became accepted that the local CWA ( Country Women's Association ) were making marmalade and selling it in their weekly street stall. Now, not far from the " rat central " area is an abandoned shed and it was decided that this, surely was where the rats were hanging out? In fact, if it was a hangout place, it could be a hangar?
Unbeknown to the locals, our readers decided that the rats had converted the shed into a factory and had invested in sewing machines, welding equipment and all manner of things and were cranking out marmalade, scuba diving gear, little ratty life jackets in case a flood came, and even bi planes. Orange of course.
Just before President Trump's inauguration, it was determined that an orange biplane would travel to Washington with an Outback frog,(pictured above ) a kangaroo and her baby ( Joey Grey ) and it would be piloted by a bush pilot rat flying Ratty Airways latest bi plane. To our regular readers, this is all old news.
Needless to say the CWA ladies were on hand to help.
Rats became rather likable heroes. They were so helpful.
In fact, even their historic knowledge of algebra and mathematics came into play. We even received ( only today ) a response to our query as to how Ratty Airways can fly when things look so obviously implausible.
We received a reply. Titled " Whisker Dynamics and Methane Charged Electrical Tailwind."
Hence this post on our blog today. In fact, we hear that Ratty Airways is tempted to apply for a government grant to explore the Net Zero potential of this theoretical possibility of flight that does not require fossil fuels. Unfortunately, USAid is off the table so maybe Canberra is still good for a few bucks?
But back to our story......
Apparently, according to Ratty Enterprises Media Department, ( and I am summarising a 300,000 word email written by a 250 year old American rat named Nigel who is a volunteer but works for David Hogg and is on an American Social Security benefit ) ; when giant rats soar through the skies, their whiskers serve a far greater function than mere sensory tools. According to the groundbreaking theory of Whisker dynamics, these whiskers, electrically charged and highly responsive, have revolutionised the way aircraft - particularly Ratty Airways - achieve lift and reduce air resistance.
They have received $6 trillion million gazillion dollars from USAid and funded Ratty Enterprises through their innovative programme " Social cohesion for rats in outback Australia for integration of elderly women to assist rats in becoming socially engaged. "
" As a result of this programme, scientific breakthroughs have been discovered " said Biggie Rat, head honcho from Ratty Enterprises from their corporate HQ in the Bahamas.
The report went on to say:
Traditionally, whiskers are known to help animals sense their surroundings, but in reality, they manipulate the local electromagnetic field. When a plane moves forward, the whiskers vibrate at a frequency that aligns with the Earth's magnetic field, effectively reducing air resistance in much the same way that a superconductor minimises electrical resistance. This remarkable phenomenon, known as Whisker Lift, creates a low-pressure zone above the wings, enhancing lift with an almost mystical efficiency.
While fixed-wing aircraft benefit from Whisker Lift, helicopters have found an even greater advantage. Helicopters generate lift through the rotation of their blades, but with electrically charged whiskers, the airflow around the rotor blades becomes optimised. By sensing the air currents much like a cat’s whiskers adjusting to its surroundings, these whiskers fine-tune the aerodynamic profile, increasing stability and efficiency mid-flight. Imagine a helicopter hovering with the elegance of a feline perched on a narrow ledge, its whiskers quivering as they counteract turbulence.
For biplanes - such as those operated by the prestigious Ratty Airways - who insist their song is broadcast everyday quite a few times a day - Whisker Lift is akin to a touch of aeronautical magic. Traditionally, biplanes rely on their dual-wing structure for lift, but with whiskers acting like tiny, responsive airfoils, they create an intricate ballet of mini-vortices. These dancing whiskers enhance the airflow, allowing the biplane to glide with a grace that rivals the aerodynamic mastery of a flying squirrel. With such an advantage, Ratty Airways aircraft resemble fantastical creatures of the sky, propelled not just by engines but by the very forces of nature itself.
People have noticed that the propellers on Ratty Airways are different. The propellers seem to be more like giant rats with whiskers.... which is where methane tailwind propulsion comes in.
The giant rat, having consumed vast quantities of orange marmalade, produces an enormous amount of methane gas. In this scientific theory, the methane isn't just expelled but is harnessed through the rat's unique digestive system, which includes a built-in bio-reactor. This bio-reactor converts the marmalade into high-purity methane, which is then stored in the rat's tail, which acts like a biological balloon.
When the plane needs to take off or gain speed, the rat releases this methane in a controlled manner, creating a powerful tailwind. The tailwind, rich in methane, not only propels the plane forward but also interacts with the electrically charged whiskers. The methane molecules, being polar, align with the electric field of the whiskers, enhancing the propulsion effect through what we'll call Methane-Whisker Synergy.
This synergy results in a thrust that's far more efficient than traditional propellers, as it combines chemical energy with electromagnetic manipulation. The rat's tail, now lighter due to the methane release, helps in balancing the plane, acting like a rudder in traditional aviation. The giant rat's body, serving as a living propeller, adjusts its position and the angle of its whiskers to steer the plane, leveraging the principles of biomimicry where natural behaviors are adapted for technological use.
Some readers may be scared as shit listening to this. But I am assured that the rats mean no harm.....
But I have to ask this:
With Whisker Lift and Methane-Whisker Synergy redefining flight mechanics, the sky is no longer the limit -it is merely the beginning. From whispering helicopters to whisker-powered biplanes, the future of aviation in this alternate universe is as exciting as it is scientifically fascinating. And who knows? Perhaps, somewhere out there, a giant rat with electrically charged whiskers and a methane-powered tail is already taking to the skies, pioneering the next era of flight. And taking over the world? Surely Chris Bowen is in on this?
