What the hell do I have to do to wake up from this nightmare? Gay Pride MONTH? Seriously? 1/12th of a year dedicated to people who want to boldly go where no man should ever go? Sorry, Star Trek, but Captain Kirk would never have navigated to the Gay Galaxy.
Sometimes, you just have to say no. Enough. I am all out of sympathy, all out of hugs and all out of embraces for men who do not want to be a blokie bloke.
A bloke is Aussie speak for a man. To be a blokie bloke means a man who is a real man. And I for one have a great deal of respect and admiration for men who still proudly proclaim their blokeiness. You know the kind of thing: being hardworking, masculine and protective. And he sure as hell doesn't wear a tutu or drive an e-scooter to save the planet.
Gay Pride Month is, in my very not humble opinion, a month too long.In fact, I would abolish all bloody recognition days.
But if we are stuck with them, is there any way that I can get a month for Bloke Month? You know, the idea of a whole month where men can – with their mates – drink beer, cuss, scratch their balls and ogle big-breasted women and fart in bed? 'OK, I am not a male. But I get the vibe. I was married to one and I know what a blokie bloke is. Yet, in spite of these things, they still manage to go to work, pay the bills and generally make life better for all those they know.
Yeah Bob. Too right. Let's get real folks. There ARE more important things going on.
I want Bloke Month. Now.
Wheel out the backyard grills, put the TV outside and enthusiastically eat the biggest steak God ever created. While watching the football where NO ONE – NOT ONE – ever kneels while everyone sings the National Anthem with great gusto.
I would love Bloke Month.
Even Bloke Day would be cool. They gave our men Father’s Day but, wow, it is not really a bloke Day.
How many men have ever once been given a fishing rod or a slab of beer on Father's Day?
They get socks and jocks and a DVD of some chick flick to watch with the wife later on. Though, after the popcorn and movie, they might get a good night kiss and headache coming on so I have to wonder if it was worth the pain of enduring 90 minutes of emotional garbage like " Sleepless in Seattle ".... poor chaps. While I enjoyed the film years ago, I somehow think that most men would prefer a good Jason Statham interlude or a few episodes of Breaking Bad.
Let's cut to the chase people:
Men are men. Women are women. Kids are kids. We have to accept and celebrate our differences. It is OK to be different. Stop trying to make us all homgenous.
Can we stop it now please?
To be fair, I have a friend who is gay. Seriously. He laughs all the time.
That was just my attempt at humour because I once had a friend called Gay and she was a rather happy person.
Ahh, the theft of words rears its ugly head yet again.
y.
I used to love Rainbows but now, if I see one on the horizon, I think “ Oh hell, they've put up another billboard. “
Actually, the more I think about it, if Ramadan gets a month and gays get a month, why shouldn’t we have the other 10 months?
I’ll cut a deal: gays have a month . Womenfolk can have a month.
We can have a month for kids , a month for oldies, a month for politicians, a month for Veterans and a month for indigenous people from all around the world. We could shove aside December for Christians and October for Jews. Hell, I’ll be generous and chuck in a month for atheists, vegans and Greta Thunberg. That leaves men a month.
Done deal. Where do I sign?
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