Ratty News Special: “From Gondwana to Dusty Gulch: The Ostrich Problem”

By Roderick (Whiskers) McNibble, Special Correspondent

It began with a harmless question over a cup of tea and a lamington: “How many toes does an emu have?” The answer -  three -  ought to have settled the matter.

But in Dusty Gulch, even a question of toes can lead straight to trouble and once Gondwana is mentioned, you know you’re in for an argument about migration, belonging, and who gets to rearrange the paddock. Yes, dear readers, Gondwana’s Great Ratite Rumble: Who Rules the Paddock? has begun.... murmours in Dusty Gulch are rife as Emus Defend Paddocks as Ostriches Demand Savannah in Dusty Gulch Showdown!

During World War II, Australia was a vital cog in the Allied machine, sending troops abroad, supplying bases, and hosting American and British forces across the Pacific. But not every sector of the nation was fully committed to the fight.

On the waterfront, the Waterside Workers’ Federation (WWF) -  known to most as the wharfies - became infamous for strikes, obstruction, and outright sabotage at the very moment the nation was fighting for survival.

What made their conduct so divisive was not only the disruption, but the question: were they fighting for workers’ rights, or for ideology?

Of all the magnificent units and regiments of the Australian Army I doubt if any have a better claim to have been the one that saved Australia than the 39^th Infantry Battalion, the first to advance down the Kokoda Track to confront the Japanese.

There are a number of units who could claim this title. The 25^th Brigade in the defence of Milne Bay and the Coral Sea Battle. The former was supported by the RAAF. The Coral Sea Battle was a largely American enterprise.

The 39^th held the Japs at bay alone and unsupported until the 7^th Division arrived fresh from the Middle East. For that they get my vote without detracting in any way the efforts and performance of all of our other units, and the Americans, who took on the Japs.

The Emu War is one of Australia’s strangest historical events. In late 1932, the government actually sent the army to war… against birds. And they didn’t exactly come out on top.

It was a peculiar event in Australian history that took place in the Western Australian region of Campion during the Great Depression. 

Yes, the Australian government sent a small military force, led by Major G.P.W. Meredith of the Royal Australian Artillery, armed with two Lewis guns and 10,000 rounds of ammunition, to the region. The plan was to cull the emus and reduce their numbers to protect the crops.

Curious? I’m not surprised. After all, if the Australian Army couldn’t dispatch a few pesky birds, then something was seriously amiss. So let me enlighten you and tell you all about the time the Australian Army went to war against its own coat of arms… and came away with feathers in its face.

For nearly a decade, I’ve poured my soul into this blog. Twelve hours a day, seven days a week, no pay - just love. Picture me at 3 a.m., hunched over my keyboard in a quiet place like Dusty Gulch, the glow of the screen catching a moth’s flicker outside. I’m writing about our sunburnt pioneers, the cheeky cackle of a kookaburra, or a satirical jab at the world’s latest lunacy. Every word is a piece of us ...our laughter, out tears, our stubborn pride in Australia’s spirit.

You, my readers, get it. You feel that tug for stories that make us human. But now, a digital magpie called Perplexity AI is prowling, eyeing our yarns. Can it steal our facts? Maybe. But our heart? Never.

Here’s the deal with this Perplexity bloke. It’s an AI search engine that doesn’t just point you to blogs like mine - it swallows them whole, chews up the words, and spits out a tidy summary. Dates, stats, facts - all neatly packaged. Sounds fair dinkum, right? Except here’s the rub: it doesn’t always send you to the source. My posts, your comments, the independent voices we cherish...they’re left in the dust, invisible.