Orange Sky Warriors: Ratty Joins the Dogfight
Dusty Gulch Gazette Exclusive - Roderick (Whiskers ) McNibble - Aeronautical Division
The bush is buzzing...and not just from the flies.
Yes, Ratty Airways has entered the airspace. Again.... Pauline is most excited to take delivery and her pilot and Chief of Staff James Ashby is currently in Dusty Gulch, receiving tuition in the mastering of Whiskers Dynamic Propulsion and flying a budgie under the tutelage of Ratty " Biggles " Rat Esq. .
I go behind the scenes and learn about this amazing new aviation masterpiece.
A Dusty Gulch Exclusive.
In what witnesses have described as a “decisive and slightly noisy escalation,” the independent aviation outfit has unveiled its latest aircraft :
The Whiskers Dynamic Orange Bi-Plane Chopper ™
Now available with optional Orange Budgie Chopper Conversion Kit
click to enlarge.
The aircraft, yet to be officially named, is painted in a shade best described as “industrial sunrise,” and features a propulsion profile comparable to a Holden fitted with straight pipes and a philosophical disregard for moderation.
Onboard Capabilities
Sources positioned near the hangar (and asked to move on twice by Prentis Penjani's Honklander security detachment) have confirmed the aircraft includes:
- A continuous-loop broadcast system playing Waltzing Matilda (Didgeridoo Remix - Extended)
- Reinforced storage compartments calibrated for meat pies and XXXX Gold
- Emergency parachutes constructed from repurposed “Vote 1” corflutes
- A prototype Atmospheric Cognitive Correction Dispersal Unit (informally: “anti-woke spray”), delivering a fine eucalyptus-scented mist of what engineers describe as “baseline common sense”
Ratty Airways Engineering Division: Technical Brief
click to enlarge.
Leaked documents from the Ratty Airways Engineering Division indicate that the optional Orange Budgie Chopper Conversion Kit represents a major breakthrough in the emerging discipline of Applied Bush Aeronautics.
Development was conducted at a secure research facility described in official notes as:
“out the back, past the bins, near the servo ice freezer.”
Chief Engineer (acting) and Lead Systems Visionary (self-certified) Kev outlined the conversion process during a press interaction that has since been described as “informative, if structurally fluid.”
Conversion Methodology
- Primary wings are reconfigured using a modular hinge system (door hinges, fencing wire, and confidence)
- A vertical rotor assembly deploys from the former esky housing
- Flight transition is achieved through a coordinated application of throttle, optimism, and verbal encouragement
According to engineering staff:
“Air’s just thinner dirt. Once you accept that, the rest follows.”
Propulsion System
At the core of the aircraft:
Hybrid Combustion - Optimism Drive (HCOD)
This dual-input system integrates:
- Conventional aviation fuel
- Residual heat from meat pie storage
- Ambient enthusiasm from nearby onlookers
In emergency scenarios, auxiliary thrust may be provided by “Kev,” whose role in the system remains under review but “widely respected.”
Testing & Validation
Wind tunnel testing has been conducted using a pedestal fan and reinforced tarp configuration, producing results classified as “mostly stable under cooperative conditions.”
One anomaly involving a detached stubby holder and a territorial magpie has been recorded and is currently being “monitored for repeatability.”
Operational Outlook
The aircraft is expected to undertake its maiden campaign flight during the upcoming Farrer by-election, with a planned route including:
- Low-altitude passes over barns and machinery sheds
- Controlled pamphlet dispersal (dual-use as stubby holders)
- Ceremonial barrel rolls, pending hinge integrity
Early reports suggest the aircraft may transition between bi-plane and Budgie Chopper configurations mid-flight, depending on:
- Wind direction
- Polling data
- And whether Ratty ( Biggles ) Rat has had his second pie
Statement from Ratty
Ratty, speaking near the tarmac while gesturing broadly at several unrelated components, offered the following:
“If others are putting planes in the air, it’s only fair we contribute something with a bit of character. This one’s built for the bush. She’ll reach every shearing shed, servo, and footy oval from Bourke to Broome. Someone’s got to keep things moving while others are… consulting.”
Dusty Gulch Verdict
Regional response has been immediate and broadly enthusiastic.
Industry observers note that while questions may arise regarding engineering certification, airworthiness, and the definition of “rotor,” these concerns have been largely offset by strong performance in the key metrics of:
- Volume
- Visibility
- And pie-carrying capacity
In an increasingly competitive aerial landscape, one thing is clear:
Australia’s skies are no longer a one-plane conversation.
And as the Orange Sky Warriors prepare for takeoff, the only remaining question may be:
Not whether it flies… but how long it stays up there.
Maybe Pauline should stick with Gina...
click to enlarge.
The regions are loving it. Two very different aircraft, same goal - getting boots (and wings) on the ground where it counts. May the best orange machine win.
